You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
