dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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