i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
