Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
COCAINE IS GR8
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