Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
