You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
