sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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