Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
