I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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