can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
