one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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