But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
