Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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