I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
FUCK WHALES
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
