DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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