Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
