I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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