sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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