He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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