Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
