pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
