if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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