i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
