Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
