so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
