Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
