There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
