you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
