You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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