Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
