jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
