Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
