And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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