Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
