i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
