Me. At least after what I've been through.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
