Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
