4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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