The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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