she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
