im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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