Operation Purity has been aborted
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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