I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
