Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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