My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just invented taco cereal.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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