...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
