next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
