ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
