She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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