Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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